COMPLETE
NAME
Whiteout, Category 5, and Me
MEDICAL RECORD NUMBER
SMMC-007
Genre:
Piano Ballad
Admission Date:
03/11/2026
Track Length:
4:13
Chart Status:
Lyrics Available
PATIENT RECORD
Official lyric documentation filed under Synthetic Medic Medical Center entertainment records.
DOCUMENTED BY: SYNTHETIC MEDIC EMS UNIT 4
TRANSCRIBED: 03/11/2026 09:13 EST
STATUS: SIGNED / LOCKED
[Verse 1]
White sky Snow stacked on the exit sign Sirens echo somewhere far I’m curled on this bathroom tile Half-dressed Half-trying not to cry Staring at my phone like it’s The only friend I’ve got tonight
[Chorus]
So I call 9-1-1 Say it burns when I breathe When I blink, when I pee Feels like fire in my lungs On the coldest night this town has ever seen You ask where I am I say where the hail hits sideways on the street There’s a whiteout, category 5, and me And it hurts when I pee
[Verse 2]
Wind screams Like it’s got something to prove You say, Ma’am stay where you are We’ll try our best to get to you I say, Listen, I just saw this miracle place on TV They fix this in five minutes flat Down in sunny Arizona heat
[Chorus 2]
So I tell 9-1-1 I need a ride, a bed A palm tree, and a cure There is one place I can trust And it sure as hell is not this frozen curb You talk protocol,I talk palm trees Cacti, desert breeze There’s a whiteout, category 5, and me And it hurts when I pee
[Bridge]
You say, Ma’am There’s ice on the road I say, there’s acid in my bones You say, we can treat you here I say, did you not hear that tone I need that place with the smiling guy With the lab coat and the tan You keep calmly repeating We’re not a taxi, we’re a van
[Verse 3]
Now the gutters overflow Rain on top of solid snow And they’re talking spinning clouds On the tiny TV glow You knock, boots dripping on my floor You’ve fought a blizzard just to stand Six feet from the bathroom door
[Chorus 3]
And I yell, Take me west To the land where the waiting rooms have views You say, Ma’am please get dressed We’ve got warm blankets and better news You offer me a ride To the small brick building down our street But my voice climbs, high and thin Over thunder, sleet and sleamy grief
[Outro]
There’s a whiteout, category 5 And me and a crew that came on broken knees I cross my arms, say you don’t see There’s a desert that was made for me You hand me water, meet my eyes Say first let’s help you breathe In this whiteout, category 5, and me I let you stay While it hurts when I pee
Electronically Signed By:
SYNTHETIC MEDIC, EMT-P
03/11/2026 11:07 EST
This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.