Synthetic Medic · Song lyrics

Who Tubed That Sample

Genre: Metal
Released: May 22, 2026
Length: 3:19

The words

Lyrics

Intro

"Attention staff... The pneumatic tube system is currently offline..." "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me..."

Verse 1

Lab phone ringing off the wall Tube station dead in the hall Somebody sent a bio blast Now the whole damn system crashed Pharmacy keeps blowing me up ICU's all out of luck ER yelling, "Where's my labs?" Speed-walking halls with aching calves

Pre-Chorus

Every floor got something due Now we all play hospital mule One bad tube and now we pay Running specimens all day

Chorus

Who tubed that sample? Who sent that cup? Now the whole damn hospital's Completely backed up Tube system down Hazmat inbound Everybody stressed out now Running meds Running labs Running till my knees collapse Who tubed that sample?

Verse 2

Micro yelling, "Where's that swab?" Lab says, "Not our problem, boss" NICU needs pharmacy Transport vanished mysteriously Now every nurse is seeing red And leadership says, "Forge ahead" Every unit's short on hands And now we're walking labs by hand

Pre-Chorus

No more speed No more help Now we haul it all ourselves Every hallway Every floor Back and forth forevermore

Chorus 2

Who tubed that sample? Who messed up? Now the whole damn system's shut Hazmat suits Blocked-off halls Caution tape on every wall Running blood Running meds Running on pure fear and dread Who tubed that sample?

Bridge

Biohazard In the line Now the whole floor's falling behind No more tubes No more speed Just pure hospital misery Someone tubed The forbidden cup Now the whole place backed things up

Chorus 3

Who tubed that sample? Say their name 'Cause the whole night shift ain't the same Tube station dead Phones blowing up Everybody's out of luck Running labs Floor to floor Like a marathon in hospital form Who tubed that sample? Who tubed that sample?

About this song

Another one requested by the floor nurses.

Hospitals have an incredible little piece of infrastructure that most people never think about:

The pneumatic tube system.

All day long, those tubes quietly move things around the building while everybody goes about their business.

Labs.

Medications.

Specimens.

Floor to floor. Department to department. Station to station.

Nobody really appreciates the tube system.

Until the tube system dies.

And apparently, one particularly effective way to accomplish that is to send something through it that absolutely should not have been sent through it.

Then it happens.

Attention staff...

The pneumatic tube system is currently offline.

And somewhere in the hospital, hundreds of healthcare workers simultaneously whisper:

“Oh, you've gotta be kidding me...”

Because the tube system is basically the hospital subway.

When it's working, an enormous amount of traffic moves through the building without anyone thinking twice about it.

When it stops working, the subway has effectively collapsed.

Except the city still has to function.

So now everybody walks.

Labs that normally disappear into a tube and arrive somewhere else suddenly need a human delivery service.

Medications still need to move.

Specimens still need to reach the lab.

Every floor still needs everything it needed five minutes ago.

Only now the transportation network is gone.

Nurses become couriers.

Hallways become highways.

Phones start ringing.

Everyone starts speed-walking.

And transport has vanished into whatever mysterious dimension transport enters whenever the entire hospital needs them simultaneously.

All because somewhere, somehow, somebody looked at a specimen and made a decision.

Put it in the tube.

Nobody knows who.

Nobody knows why.

But everybody would very much like a name.

Which brings us to the only reasonable question:

WHO TUBED THAT SAMPLE?

Naturally, this became metal.

Because when one forbidden cup can turn a modern hospital into New York City after the subway system collapses, acoustic guitar simply isn't going to convey the appropriate level of institutional rage.

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