APPROVED

"Medic 5, respond to The Pointing Pelican..." "Unknown Medical Emergency." Oh no. Not again Fluorescents hum Name tags swing We kick the doors Code blue ding ding Grandma’s drag racing In a swivel chair Old man Earl Streakin’ down the stairs TV on static Charts on the floor Coffee still steaming By the med room door Where are all the nurses hiding? Who hit nine-one-one then ran? Left us with the circus riding Geriatric rock ‘n’ roll grand slam Where are all the nurses hiding? We got bed alarms and bingo riots Somebody called for help tonight Then vanished in the quiet One guy’s preaching To a houseplant crowd Lady with the walker Screaming “Turn it loud!” (hey!) Pudding in the hallway Playing slip ‘n’ slide Call light blinking Like it’s terrified Radio crackles Medic 5, you in? We check every station Just empty chairs again Where are all the nurses hiding? Who hit nine-one-one then fled? We’re triaging a food fight Mashed potatoes to the head Where are all the nurses hiding? We got wheelchairs doing wheelies Somebody started this tonight And ditched us with the crazies Checked the med room Nobody there Checked the station Empty chair Checked the hallway Checked room ten Asked a CNA "Try again" Chart rack Phone rings No one answers Anything We got one question Over and over Who’s the nurse For this resident Where are all the nurses hiding (Yeah) We've searched every floor again Found three CNAs and housekeeping Still don't know what's wrong with him Where are all the nurses hiding? We've been asking half the night Then somebody points across the hall And says, "She just went home at five"

This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.