REVIEWED

If one more family member asks for warm blankets I’m gonna transfer myself to psych Family camping at the station Questions every minute straight “Why’s he sleeping?” “Why’s he coughing?” Ma’am… I literally just explained Call lights ringing down the hallway The second that I try to eat Room twelve needs another ginger ale Room eight can’t work the TV The Pyxis froze mid-med pass Pharmacy won’t answer calls And the doctor’s “on the way right now” Which means he's not coming at all So I hide inside the med room Like it’s somewhere no one knows Door shuts for half a second Just to breathe before I go Welcome to the med room meltdown Where the chaos never ends Pumps beeping, families creeping And the docs won’t answer texts again Welcome to the med room meltdown Yeah we’re running on fumes tonight Held together by bad decisions Trauma bonding and spite Charge nurse giving dirty looks ‘Cause my charting isn’t done Meanwhile room nine’s throwing punches And room two pulled out his IV once Respiratory's on the way We heard that thirty minutes back The scanner won’t scan anything And the printer won’t print jack Administration sent another email About the whiteboards by each bed Funny how they always find us When patient scores start dropping dead So somebody spike the coffee And unplug the overhead Because if I hear “hourly rounding” I might fake my own death Welcome to the med room meltdown Where everybody needs you now Every patient hits the call light The second that you sit back down Welcome to the med room meltdown Yeah we laugh so we don’t scream Held together by sarcasm And shattered fever dreams Call light Phone rings Family staring at me Room change Bed alarm Somebody yelling my name Doctor says “just keep an eye” Cool, thanks… that’s super neat And if one more person says You look tired I might lose what’s left of me Welcome to the med room meltdown Fluorescent lights and no escape Another shift surviving purely On dark humor and bottled rage Welcome to the med room meltdown Yeah tomorrow we’ll all be back Talking trash at the nurses’ station Like this place ain’t driving us mad

This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.