QA REVIEW

A Monday morning, cold and gray The emails started flying Clear the halls and hide the wires Nobody stopped to ask why The managers came down from towers With polished shoes and perfect hair Asked us how the unit’s doing Like they’d always somehow cared And the nurses laughed in whispers As the wax rolled down the floor Cause nobody fixed a single thing Till the suits walked through the door It was the day Joint Commission came All at once the whole place changed Broken doors got patched with paint And everybody knew your name Fresh flowers at the front desk bloomed Administration left their rooms Funny what a little fear can make The day Joint Commission came The staffing board still looked half empty The patients lined the ER halls But somehow there were extra hands For wiping dust off of walls A director asked about my family Said, “We’re grateful for your care” I almost asked where she had been The other fifty-one weeks this year And old Mike down in respiratory Let out half a tired cuss Said, “Boys, I ain’t seen this much effort Since before the budget cuts” It was the day Joint Commission came Every hallway looked reclaimed Brand new signs and scripted lines Like we weren’t drowning all the same Even pharmacy got donuts And every cracked wall got reframed Miracles arrived 'round here The day Joint Commission came And for one brief shining moment Everything looked safe and clean Like the hospital brochures And the training videos on screen Then the black SUVs rolled onward Past the ambulance bay doors And by Friday afternoon The cracks came showing through once more It was the day Joint Commission came We all stood there in the rain Watching leadership wave goodbye As they vanished once again The paint’ll peel by next Tuesday The smiles will all just fade away But Lord, you should’ve seen this place The day Joint Commission came Yeah, you should’ve seen this place… The day Joint Commission came…

This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.