Synthetic Medic · Song lyrics

Take Me To The Good One

Genre: Alt-Rock
Released: April 12, 2026
Length: 2:59

The words

Lyrics

Intro

Yeah uh… I don’t wanna go to that hospital …oh here we go

Verse 1

Lights up, we roll in clean You’re sitting up, sipping caffeine Vitals fine, skin looks great But suddenly it’s life or fate You say, “I need a ride real fast” Then hit me with your Yelp review past “Not that place, they’re kinda slow I got beef from ‘bout a year ago”

Pre-Chorus

Oh now you’re scrolling through your phone Like you’re picking out a dinner zone “Do they have private rooms?” Bro, you called 911 at noon

Chorus 1

You said take me to the good one Not the one that’s close Five stars or I don’t go That’s the one I chose You want valet and a view Maybe continental too This ain’t Uber Black, my dude It’s an ambulance for you

Verse 2

“Can you pass three ERs on the way? I heard they’re nicer down that way” Meanwhile I’m thinking in my head You walked out here, you’re not half dead You ask, “Do they have better docs?” While adjusting your clean white socks “Last time they didn’t have snacks” Sir… we’re treating heart attacks

Pre-Chorus

Now you’re rating care in real time Like it’s some five-star lifeline “Do they validate parking there?” BRO YOU ARRIVED BY STRETCHER

Chorus 2

You said take me to the good one Not the one that’s near Twenty minutes down the road That’s your ER of the year You got preferences and picks Like a spa you wanna fix This ain’t room service, dude It’s a ride with flashing lights

Bridge

“Do they have better blankets?” “Is their food like… decent?” “Can I request a certain nurse?” You’re lucky we even stopped the truck

Chorus 3

You want luxury admission With a scenic route condition But your vitals scream “I’m fine” You called the emergent line You got options, you got taste But this ain’t your dinner place You called EMS for a ride Now enjoy the nearest side

Outro

Actually… Can you take me somewhere with better reviews?” Yeah man, I’ll check Yelp while we code you

About this song

Hospital preferences are real.

Maybe your doctors are at a certain hospital. Maybe that's where you've received your care before. Maybe you've had a bad experience somewhere else and would rather not go back.

That's completely reasonable.

And when circumstances allow, EMS will usually do its best to accommodate a reasonable destination request.

Within reason.

That's the important part.

Because occasionally a request stops sounding like a hospital preference and starts sounding like we're planning a road trip.

There may be several perfectly appropriate hospitals nearby.

But apparently those aren't the good one.

The good one is farther away.

Much farther away.

Potentially past several other emergency departments, a couple county lines and, according to some requests, approximately half the continental United States.

At that point the conversation starts drifting away from emergency medicine and dangerously close to travel planning.

“Take Me to the Good One” is for every EMS crew who's ever been handed a destination request that made them briefly wonder whether the patient believed the ambulance came with unlimited mileage.

We'll listen to your preference.

We'll consider your medical needs.

We'll work with you when the request makes sense.

But we're probably not passing four appropriate hospitals because another one has better blankets.

And no.

We don't know if they validate parking.

This isn't Uber Black.

And the ambulance does not have a scenic-route upgrade.

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