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Dispatch sent us out around a quarter after three Said a man was feeling sick and needed help immediately We rolled up to the address and couldn't help but stare There were four perfectly good vehicles parked everywhere A pick-up by the garage A Honda by the shed A minivan with fresh inspection My partner shook his head He said, "Man, that's awful..." Sorry about your cars, bro Looks like every one is shot That Silverado finally died Right there on the spot That Honda 's going nowhere That Jeep won't go in gear That minivan's completely toast Oh no, what a tragic year 'Cause if just one of those things ran You wouldn't need us here man Sorry about your cars, bro He's standing on the sidewalk With his overnight bag packed Already wearing sweatpants Like this wasn't what he planned Said, "I've had a cough since Sunday" Then took another drag I glanced back at the driveway And looked down at his bags I said, "Buddy, that's terrible..." Sorry about your cars, bro Looks like all four bit the dust The battery died in every one And the engine's all seized up The truck lost all its tires The Honda threw a rod The Jeep caught fire yesterday And the van must run too hot That's the only explanation For calling us, you know Sorry about your cars, bro Now if your chest was crushing Or your left arm had gone numb Or you were bleeding, choking Yeah, we'd come on the run But you're walking, talking, smoking Holding coffee while you wait And every car is sitting there With registrations up to date Sorry about your cars, bro That's some rotten luck you've got Four vehicles all broke down The moment that you coughed A full tank in the pickup truck Keys hanging by the door But somehow every single one Can't drive anymore We'll get you to the ER Since I guess they won't Sorry about your cars, bro

This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.