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Synthetic Medic · Song lyrics

Quick! Put Them In The Attic

  • Genre: Gospel / Soul
  • Released: March 11, 2026
  • Length: 3:37
The words

Lyrics

Verse 1

Sirens screaming Coffee shakin’ in my hand You said unresponsive Hurry if you can Kick your door in Shoes still on the mat Where’s the patient You just point up at that

Pre-Chorus

Narrow staircase, fourteen turns Ceiling slants, my shoulders burn You smile, yeah, just one more floor I swear I’ve seen this house before

Chorus

Quick! Put them in the attic Behind the boxes and the dusty fan Winding maze, this is pure static You called for help then hid them where you can’t even stand Quick! Put them in the attic Tripping on tinsel and a Christmas tree If I hit my head again, I might need me Why is every call a low-budget tragedy?

Verse 2

Duck the beam Knock over your angel set Crawlspace yoga I’m breaking a sweat You say, "So sorry We don’t have a spare bed" I’m counting cobwebs Hanging over their head

Pre-Chorus

Check the pulse Check my back Stuck between Pink fiberglass You shout "Watch out!” “That step is weak" Yeah, thanks I found it with my knee

Chorus 2

Quick! Put them in the attic Next to yearbooks and your wedding dress Best place ever so cinematic Perfect for chest pain and respiratory stress Quick! Put them in the attic Where the air is ninety-five degrees If I drop this stretcher on my knees (oh please) I’ll bill you for emotional fees

Bridge

Basement? Bedroom? Living room floor? Let’s play "Find the Patient" Like it’s a game show tour "Is it A, the sofa? “The car out back?" "C! C! C! the attic!" I need hazard pay for this track

Chorus 3

Quick! Put them in the attic Balancing a backboard on a ladder rung Your cat’s attacking, my lungs are rattling You’re asking if the wait time’s long Quick! Put them in the attic Promise me the next time that you dial Pick a room at ground level Just once in a while So I can save a life And spare my spine in style

About this song

There’s a phenomenon in EMS that I’m convinced nobody has properly studied: the second someone calls 911, the patient somehow ends up in the furthest possible location from the front door.

Upstairs. Down the hall. Around three corners. Wedged into a bathroom roughly the size of a broom closet.

It happened often enough that my partner and I developed a theory about what must happen immediately after someone hangs up with the dispatcher:

“QUICK! PUT THEM IN THE ATTIC!”

That became the running joke anytime we found ourselves hauling equipment through another obstacle course just to reach the patient.

Obviously, nobody is actually hiding Grandma behind the Christmas decorations before the ambulance gets there.

Probably.

After years of joking about it, it finally became a song.

And if you're going to write a song about carrying EMS equipment into the least accessible parts of someone's house...

it has to be gospel.

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