QA REVIEWED

I hit the call light seven times Before you made it to the hall Ask a question ’bout my pills Like you don’t know meds at all You checked my labs You scanned my bands You answered every dumb demand But somehow I still trust it more When somebody rounds again You told me twice You wrote the note You paged the team and checked the dose But I keep looking past your face Like you’re the help and not the brains Paging Dr. Whoever Get somebody on the line Someone with a fancy title ‘Cause you don’t sound qualified Paging Dr. Whoever Need him standing by my bed So he can smile and nod at me And say exactly what you said Now I’m asking every aide If they think you know your stuff Like the person keeping me alive Still somehow ain’t good enough You explain the plan again While I barely even listen Then I need the doctor there For a second opinion “You sure that med’s supposed to burn?” “Are you sure this scan looks fine?” “Can somebody get the doctor?” For the seventh freaking time You know my meds My diet too Which doctor’s rounding after two But none of that means anything Till somebody else walks in Paging Dr. Whoever Get somebody on the line Someone with a fancy title ‘Cause you don’t sound qualified Paging Dr. Whoever Need him standing by my bed So he can smile and nod at me And say exactly what you said He walked in with the same reply Same exact words, different eyes Now suddenly it all makes sense Like it’s brand new information I heard it once I heard it twice But somehow now it sounds more right Funny how the truth hits different With the letters M.D. next to it Paging Dr. Whoever Get somebody on the line Someone with a fancy title ‘Cause you don’t sound qualified Paging Dr. Whoever Need him standing by my bed So he can smile and nod at me And say exactly what you said

This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.