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Page 8: Vegetate

  • Genre: Metal
  • Released: April 27, 2026
  • Length: 3:51
The words

Lyrics

Intro

Alright… Page 1… Let’s go…

Verse 1

Page 1, dispatch, time and place Unit on scene, I set the pace Crew names in, destination set Call type logged, I'm not done yet Times all lined up, clean and straight En route, on scene, no delay Everything's smooth, feeling great Let's roll on through, no time to waste

Pre-Chorus

Chief complaint, yeah I got that Scene description, copy that Typing fast, I'm in the groove Lemme just check a thing or two

Chorus

Page 8, vegetate I start strong but then I wait One quick break, won't be late I'll get there, just you wait Page 8, vegetate I'm rolling fast and feeling great Just one scroll, then back to work I gotta get distracted first

Verse 2

Neuro page, GCS looks fine Level's good, move line by line Pupils equal, stroke is clear Click it through, get me outta here Lungs and heart, Page 4 Breath sounds clear, not much more Pulse is steady, breathing great Click, click, click, accelerate

Pre-Chorus

Secondary, Page 5, done Click the body, mark "none" Page 6, yeah, skip that page Don't do transports anyway Page 7, meds, IVs Urgent care, so not with me Almost there, just one more gate Next stop up, Page 8

Chorus 2

Page 8, vegetate I'm right there but I think I'll wait One more step, can't be hard Why is this the longest part? Page 8, vegetate Running late, seal my fate Did it all, just can't translate I'll get there, just wait

Bridge

Activity log Vitals, findings, everything Drop-downs, meds, IVs All of it

Breakdown

Blank screen staring back Every detail, forget that Started IVs, meds given Airway, times, everything written Drop-down, type it out Lose your place, start to doubt Read it back, it makes no sense How's it take all night for this? Page 8, can't escape This is where I vegetate

Chorus 3

Page 8, vegetate So close now, Page 9 waits Sign it off, lock it down If I ever get around Page 8, vegetate Every shift, same mistake Say I'll change, but I don't Give it a minute, I know I won't Lemme check one thing real quick...

About this song

One of the first pieces of paramedic wisdom ever passed down to me was:

“Page 8, vegetate.”

My first paramedic partner taught me a lot.

Medicine.

EMS.

How to survive a shift.

And apparently, the proper time to completely lose all motivation while writing a chart.

The technique was simple.

Start the chart strong.

Dispatch information? Done.

Chief complaint? Done.

History of present illness? Done

Neuro and cardiac page? Done.

You are flying.

Then you arrive at Page 8.

Activity log.

Narrative.

Every intervention.

Every time.

Every detail that was perfectly obvious five minutes ago and has now somehow vanished from your brain.

Suddenly the unstoppable documentation machine needs a minute.

Maybe you check your phone.

Maybe you get something to drink.

Maybe you stare into the distance and reconsider every decision that led you into emergency medicine.

Or, if you're following the traditional teachings:

You take a nap.

Because there's nothing wrong with taking a little break before the final boss battle.

Eventually you wake up.

Page 8 is still there.

It has been waiting.

Patiently.

Menacingly.

And now you have to remember what happened on a call that occurred approximately three geological eras ago.

“Page 8: Vegetate” is dedicated to an old piece of partner wisdom that stuck with me long after those early shifts were over.

Some people teach you advanced cardiology.

Some teach you airway management.

Some teach you the subtle art of knowing exactly when to stop charting...

and vegetate.

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