APPROVED

"Medic 8, respond emergent..." "Altered mental status..." "Patient's... just not acting right..." Another midnight wake-up Red lights cut the rain Third floor apartment, no elevator And dispatch sounds half asleep again No clue what we're walking into No hint what's wrong tonight Just another shaky caller saying "She's just not acting right..." Could be septic Could be stroke Could be hypoglycemic Could be smoke Could be something actually deadly Or just another midnight elderly They're just not acting right That's all dispatch gave tonight No warning signs, no reason why Just another scene with no insight They're just not acting right J.N.A.R. at 2 A.M. We roll in thinking "stroke alert" She just forgot where she put her purse Vitals stable, sugar normal Pupils equal, skin looks fine Family says "She's acting different..." She was born in nineteen twenty-nine Now the daughter's crying softly Like we're moments from the end Patient asks me where her husband is He died in twenty-ten Another nursing home disaster Another vague complaint Another "something feels just off" That somehow turned emergent They're just not acting right That's all dispatch gave tonight No useful notes, no real complaint Just "please come tell us she's okay" They're just not acting right J.N.A.R. again at five Could be sepsis, could be death Could be she can't do her crossword yet "Vitals stable..." "Blood sugar's fine..." "She's been confused since '99..." "Temp is normal..." "No neuro signs..." "Why is this emergent tonight?!" J.N.A.R. Just Not Acting Right J.N.A.R. Say it one more time Just not acting right Watch my sanity flatline They're just not acting right That phrase still echoes through the night Another "life-or-death" dispatch Couldn't find her glasses on her head They're just not acting right Another "urgent" call tonight Another lights-and-sirens hurry She thought Jeopardy was Maury

This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.