COMPLETE

Got my overnight bag packed up tight Been coughing since Tuesday night Called 911, don't wanna wait Figured I'd upgrade my fate The medic asked me what's going on I said, "Honestly, not much is wrong" But I heard a little secret from a friend If I ride with you, I'll get right in I ain't sitting in no waiting room chair With sick folks coughing everywhere Nah, I found a faster way to win I'll get right in They'll roll me past the line Straight through those ER doors 'Cause this ambulance is mine No waiting, no delay No tree-ajh game to play Just wheel me through the crowd and then I'll get right in Yeah, I'll get right in Pulled up lights flashing at the bay Feeling pretty clever on the way Watching all those people in the lobby stare Like I got some VIP access there Nurse took one look and gave a grin Asked me what made me think I'd win Next thing I know they're parking me Right where I would've been for free The chest pain guy went right before me The stroke alert flew past at forty Starting to think this ain't what I imagined I'll get right in That's what I thought they'd do But now I'm staring at the ceiling tiles With a lovely waiting room view The waiting room got emptied out The folks I passed are leaving now And somehow they're all gone while I've been Trying to get right in Four hours later, still warming plastic seats Listening to coughing symphonies Saw the medic crew that brought me here Leave, come back, and disappear Three shift changes, two turkey sandwiches One angry family throwing fits And I'm beginning to suspect This wasn't quite the life hack yet I'll get right in At least that's what they said Now it's six PM and somehow I'm still In chair twenty-three instead Could've drove myself today Would've got here anyway But now I've learned the truth my friend You don't get right in No, you don't get right in

This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.