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Synthetic Medic · Song lyrics

I Drive A Beamer

  • Genre: Pop
  • Released: April 17, 2026
  • Length: 2:22
The words

Lyrics

Intro

Yeah (uh, uh) I see you back there (I see you) But I’m not movin’ (not movin’)

Verse 1

Rearview flashing red and blue (red and blue) Yeah, I see you I just cruise (just cruise) Hair is perfect, nails are new (so new) Got no time to deal with you (with you) Pink dice swingin’ side to side (side to side) Fuzzy wheel while I just glide (I glide) You keep honkin’ I don’t mind (don’t mind) I got no places, I got no time (my time) You keep trying lights on me (on me) But I’m right where I should be (should be) If you’re rushin’, problems not mine (not mine) I got plans, I got no time (no time)

Chorus 1

I drive a Beamer, I don’t move (don’t move) I see the lights but I choose, you lose (you lose) You can wait I’m passin’ through (passin’) I’m more important than you (than you) I’m the main character can’t you see (can’t you see) World spins around me naturally (naturally) Hear that siren behind me scream (ah-ah) Still not movin’, I’m the queen (the queen) Not movin’ Not movin’ (no no no) Not for you (for you) Not movin’ Not movin’ Got better things to do (to do)

Verse 2

Nail appointment can’t be late (can’t be late) Gettin’ fresh dip gonna be amazing (amazing) Frappucino meltin’, traffic slow (so slow) You’re not messing up my glow (my glow) No turn signal I just slide (I slide) If I want to, that’s my right (my right) You I hear you loud and clear (so clear) I just don’t care, not my vibe (my vibe) I see the lights (I see the lights) I hear the sounds (hear the sounds) But I’m gonna keep going around If you need it that bad tonight (tonight) Go around me, you’ll be alright (alright) Emergency? Maybe so (maybe so) I got some where I gotta go (gotta go) In a world it’s clear to me (to me) Everything revolves around me

Chorus 2

I drive a Beamer, I don’t move (don’t move) I see the lights but I choose, you lose (you lose) You can wait I’m passin’ through (passin’) I’m more important than you (than you) I’m the main character can’t you see (can’t you see) World spins around me naturally (naturally) Hear that siren behind me scream (ah-ah) Still not movin’, I’m the queen (the queen) Not movin’ Not movin’ (no no no) Not movin’ Not movin’ Not for you (for you)

About this song

There is a simple concept taught to drivers everywhere:

See the lights. Hear the siren. Pull over.

Most people understand this.

Then there are the chosen few.

The people who look directly into their rearview mirror, see an emergency vehicle lighting up everything behind them and apparently decide:

“Nah. They can go around.”

Every EMS crew knows the experience.

Lights are flashing.

Siren is screaming.

The air horn has progressed from a polite request to a personal grievance.

And somehow the car directly in front of you continues cruising along like none of this has anything to do with them.

For reasons science has yet to adequately explain, expensive cars seem particularly vulnerable to this phenomenon.

BMW.

Audi.

Lexus.

Beautiful machines equipped with remarkable engineering, advanced electronics and, apparently, optional turn signals.

“I Drive A Beamer” takes that familiar moment and imagines the internal monologue required to remain completely unbothered while an ambulance is desperately trying to get around you.

Maybe there's an emergency behind you.

Maybe somebody needs help.

Maybe those flashing lights actually mean something.

But the coffee is melting.

The nail appointment starts soon.

And apparently the entire roadway exists as a supporting character in somebody else's story.

So this one goes out to every driver who sees an ambulance in the mirror and somehow mistakes the emergency lights for decorative ambiance.

You're not the main character.

Please move the Beamer.

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© 2026 Synthetic Medic · Healthcare Satire With A Pulse™