APPROVED

Room twelve, alarms are screaming Coffee shaking in my hand Clipboard like a plastic shield I improvise a master plan You ask me what the story is Why the meds, why the line I flip through blanks and scribbled words Say, wow! This patient’s not mine First day, I swear I just got back from lunch I don’t even work on this floor I was on vacation all year First day, I swear I’ve never seen them before I think I took a wrong door First day, I swear I swear I have no idea what’s going on here You say, what time did this start I say, what time is ‘start’ to you I blame a ghost with a stethoscope And a raccoon in scrubs that flew I say I’m just the temp today I’m actually from I.T. I point at random oxygen Pretty sure they came with that, not me First day, I swear I just got back from lunch I don’t even work on this floor I was on vacation all year First day, I swear I’ve never seen them before I think I took a wrong door First day, I swear I swear I have no idea what’s going on here Maybe I was parking cars Maybe I was making fries Maybe I was in the gift shop Color-matching alibis Maybe I’m a hologram Maybe this is just a drill Maybe I’m a barista Can I top you off while they refill? First day, I swear I just got back from lunch I don’t even work on this floor I was on vacation all year First day, I swear I’ve never seen them before I think I took a wrong door First day, I swear I swear I have no idea what’s going on here First day, I swear And somehow I’m still standing right here

This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.