Synthetic Medic · Song lyrics

Click, Click, Next

Genre: Alpine Polka
Released: August 17, 2026
Length: 2:28

The words

Lyrics

Verse 1

January's back, it's time again Gather 'round, my weary friends Grab your badge and take a seat Corporate says it's quite a treat Fire safety, slips and falls HIPAA for one and all Watch the video... don't object Click, click, next

Pre-Chorus

Raise your mouse up in the air Smile like you actually care If you snooze, don't you fret The quiz hasn't started yet

Chorus

Click, click, next (hey!) Click, click, next (hey!) Another module off the list Click, click, next (hey!) Click, click, next (hey!) I swear we've all done this Click, click, next (hey!) Click, click, next (hey!) Guess the answers, do your best If you fail Just click next

Verse 2

Cyber threats are on the rise No prince needs your password, guys Never click suspicious links Just use common sense and think Body mechanics, PPE Lift with knees... supposedly Same old slideshow, same old text Click, click, next

Bridge

Question number 47 Please select all that apply Three look right Four could work But who's to say Incorrect Please try again

Chorus 3

Click, click, next (hey!) Click, click, next (hey!) Ninety-nine percent complete Click, click, next (hey!) Click, click, next (hey!) Victory's in reach Click, click, next (hey!) Click, click, next (hey!) Final screen at last All that's left is Click click next

About this song

Every year, healthcare workers receive an important opportunity to continue their professional education.

And every year, there is a suspiciously good chance they've already seen the exact same opportunity.

Several times.

“Click, Click, Next” is dedicated to the annual mandatory education module: a proud institutional tradition in which modern healthcare professionals are taught critical workplace information using educational materials that occasionally appear to predate modern healthcare.

The videos are ancient.

Some aren't even in color.

The slideshow looks like it was assembled during the first experimental trials of Microsoft Office.

And somehow, despite completing it every year, you're about to learn about fire safety, suspicious emails, body mechanics and PPE all over again.

So you begin.

Click. Click. Next.

Eventually you reach the quiz.

Most of it is straightforward until the dreaded words appear:

Select all that apply.

Three answers look correct.

A fourth seems defensible.

You make your selection.

Incorrect.

Fortunately, the system has now shown you exactly which answers it wanted.

So you try again.

Click. Click. Next.

There was really only one genre capable of capturing the relentless rhythm, repetitive optimism and mouse-driven choreography of this annual ritual.

Alpine polka.

Because if you're going to complete the same slideshow for the tenth consecutive year, you might as well have an accordion.

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