QA REVIEW

We skid in; fluorescents buzzing overhead Your chest still; my brain already three steps ahead I’m like “tube first, bag hard”; let’s save the day My partner at the foot of the stretcher like, “Uh, you sure you wanna do it that way?” I just tubed a sugar of twenty-two (oh no, oh no) Somewhere a protocol’s crying too My chart’s gonna roast me alive Airway patent, patient kinda vibes Clicking every box like it’s ok While I’m charting my license away He’s pale waxed, sweaty, clammy, kinda out cold I’m all jazzed like I’m crushing it, “Ten Year Pro” Partner pokes his finger; looks up, goes wide “Dude, that meter says two-two” I’m like, “Uh, glucose ride?” I just tube a sugar of twenty-two (oh yeah, oh no) Consider dextrose, page forty-two Gonna narrate this hot mess clean In moderate distress, or so it seemed Copy paste “courage” to face the day While I’m charting my license away Patient found unresponsive Unknown downtime, scene was tense Provider elected advanced airway In retrospect, maybe not the best way I’ll write benefit outweighed the risk And pray QA just skims through it I just tubed a sugar of twenty-two (hey, hey) Future lawyer humming, “how do ya do” I’ll write ten lines of reassess “Patient improved”, I guess, I guess Sign my name, pretend it’s all ok Yeah, while I’m charting my license away Charting my license away

This chart was electronically reviewed by Synthetic Medic Medical Center. Accuracy may vary depending on staffing, caffeine levels, and whether anyone actually read the note.